Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"I believe in equal rights for all ... unless you're religious or conservative..."

"In that case... I'll be sure to tell you why you're wrong and why you need to change. But don't you dare try to express your opinion to me... religious, conservative people are so closed minded and judgmental."

I am SOOOO tired of having this encounter!!! Obviously paraphrased. But pretty much the meat of the conversation. I had a mild one today. And I try to stay calm and express my opinions logically and with kindness (heaven forbid I come off as closed minded or judgmental!) ... But the more I think about it, I get more and more angry. I am so tired of the double standard. The funny thing is that I did not pursue this conversation. I was passive in the whole thing. I merely answered questions I was asked. I very much believe that no one enjoys unsolicited advice or irrationally strong opinions. So yeah, I innocently answer questions, and then my judgment is questioned and I am made to feel like I am judgmental and heartless (which I would just like to say by the way are two things that I constantly strive NOT to be). But here's the kicker. In the same breath, this person was discussing how horrible religious people can be sometimes and he/she concluded with "I am who I am, I'm not gonna change, just let me be." ... And I'm left thinking... ummmm, my thoughts exactly. Who's the one here who is giving the other the right to have their own opinion?

It is truly baffling. And for the record, I TOO believe in equal rights for all. Very much so. I also believe in a benevolent & kind view of humanity. VERY much so. And not to sound arrogant here, but I'm gonna venture out on a limb here and say that consistency is a valuable component when referring to "ALL."




Edit... some follow-up thoughts...

I was stiiiillll thinking about this. Does anyone remember this scene from "You've Got Mail" (one of my favorites) :
Joe Fox: Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Kathleen Kelly
: No, I know exactly what you mean, and I'm completely jealous. What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
[stops and thinks]
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.

Joe Fox
: Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.
Well I'm on the Kathleen Kelly side, being completely jealous sometimes. Please, Joe Fox, send me your zingers. I would love to experience this. But on the other hand, thank you, Joe Fox, for letting me know that remorse inevitably follows... And for reminding me to appreciate the fact that my arrogance, spite, and condescension has not sprung open. It is a refreshing perspective to realize that I am not weak... I am merely someone who doesn't carry my arrogance and condescension on my sleeves, ready to pounce at any moment. I am rejuvenated. Thank you Tom Hanks.

4 comments:

  1. Preach it, girl! Why is it that anyone who claims to be sooooo "open-minded" would be soooo closed minded to the opinions of anyone else? You probably did right by not ripping out their larynx, as much as that would make several things better, because then you would just look like them. Our ever-so-untalkative father always said, "It's better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and prove it."

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  2. Ugh...I totally agree with you! This is hilarious, too!

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  3. What's the picture of the gumdrops supposed to be?

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  4. WOW! I completely agree and am proud to call you my daughter in love. momma hamilton

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